The White Swallow Men's Bathhouse
by insertuserhere
Summary: Craig Tucker had a happy life. He had a nice house in the suburbs (it was rented) he had a stable job (he was an accountant) and he had a fiancé that he loved. His life was plain, simple, and boring. That's how Craig liked it, and that's how it would stay. That is until Clyde and Token decide to take him out for a Bachelor's party that won't be forgotten.
1. Chapter 1

Craig Tucker had a happy life. He had a nice house in the suburbs (it was rented) he had a stable job (he was an accountant) and he had a fiancé that he loved. His life was plain, simple, and boring. That's how Craig liked it, and that's how it would stay. He still lived in South Park, but he tended not to cross paths with anyone that wasn't Clyde or Token in fear that his perfect boring life would dare become stimulating.  
His fiancee's name is Nora Eastman. She was perfect for Craig, she wasn't devastatingly beautiful or horrifically ugly. She was just Nora Eastman, soon to be Nora Tucker, who worked at a bakery thirty minutes away in North Park. Simple soft facial features, stick straight brown hair (not chestnut) and simple brown eyes (that didn't sparkle or glitter. She was just Nora (maybe a little plump from sampling a few to many cupcakes and cookies at work) and that was how life was to stay.  
They were eating their regular Tuesday night dinner. Craig forked the final piece of meatloaf into his mouth, content with the boring, the familiarity. Nora came from the kitchen, with two plates containing single slices of rich carrot cake.  
"Ruby dropped by earlier". Craig said while taking his portion from her, Nora rounded the small table and sat once more across from her beloved fiancé, gingerly cut a small helping from her cake before gently setting it in her mouth. That's one thing Craig always noticed about Nora, she always made a big effort to look feminine and delicate.  
"Oh yeah? What did she need"? Nora wondered in between bites.  
"She needed an old sweater of yours. Apparently Karen McCormick is knocked up and her clothes don't fit her to well anymore". Nora's lips pinched into a thin line and her eyes narrowed. Having grown up in a strict Catholic household, she felt strongly about un-we'd teen pregnancy.  
"Alright then, I suppose I can rustle up a few things that don't fit". Judging by the tone of her voice, the discussion was over. Their Tuesday night continued winding down according to the unwritten schedule as Craig loaded the dishwasher and Nora wrapped leftovers in tin foil and set them away in the fridge. As she waited for Craig to finish the dishes, she poured a glass of wild grape wine and cradled it with her pudgy fingers.  
"I drove by the old Tweak Bros. building, or what's left of it. There's a sign up saying that a new Halgreen's Pharmacy is being put up instead". Craig's eyelids immediately closed as he felt the plate slip from his fingers and onto the linoleum floor. The plate shattered instantly, causing both Nora and Craig to jump. Her wine licked against the rim of her glass, splashing against her grey knit sweater. Her eyebrows furrowed and she excused herself to their bedroom to change, leaving Craig to sweep away the mess.  
As he emptied the dust pan into the garbage, he allowed himself to think back. So the old building is being torn down... He couldn't say he disagreed with the notion. Kids were less likely to injure themselves bumming around the Halgreen's then they were poking around in the remains of a charred building... Besides when he drove by to visit Nora at work it would be significantly less painful..  
He's in bed now, his sunshine yellow hair rustles against the pillow case each time he moves in an attempt to get comfortable. His green eyes, shadowed with insomnia dart nervously as he chews on his fingernails. A sudden shift in the sleeping partner beside him pulls his attention away from random objects and to the drowsy cornflower blue eyes of the love of his life. Tweek gently pets down the entanglement of Stygian locks.  
"What are you doing awake"? Wonders Craig, his voice is laced with drowsiness and he wears the scent of sleep like he wears the scent of sex, like an all natural alluring perfume. "I'm always awake at this hour Craig". Craig's arm is suddenly thrown over Tweek's feline form as the larger boy wiggles himself into the crook of the blonde's frame.  
"I know how to fix your insomnia". Tweek doesn't have to look at Craig to hear the wink in his voice. Craig begins waltzing his fingertips along the lower region of Tweek's gut, and goosebumps raised themselves to meet Craig's warm touch and a desperate sigh escaped his lips. Craig, knowing how to appease his beautiful china doll of a boyfriend, grinned and hooked his nimble fingers around the hooks of Tweek's boxers that were adorned with smiling images of happy cups of coffee, and pulled them to his ankles.  
Craig grinned in bed at that memory. If only Nora and her strict catholic ways knew of Craig's past and how not only did he not loose his virginity to her, but had multiple gay relations. He rolled over to his left side before a sudden buzz of his IPhone caused him to groan and snatch it up with his lovely hands. He squinted, reading the text from Clyde. Something about a bachelor party . There was an address to some place on the outside of town. He switched to google and typed in the address, and the top link was the home page to one location his eyebrows arched in extreme surprise and a tiny grin spread across his boyish face. The White Swallow Men's Bathhouse. He quickly texted back that was an asshole and B. that he'd be seeing Clyde and Token at that location tomorrow at eight pm.


	2. Chapter 2

He doesn't like when he has to wear a costume. The fabric is itchy against his delicate thighs and he can feel the germs from other workers crawling across his skin. But he doesn't get to have an opinion on the outfits, he is just a doll. He's a beautiful china doll with porcelain skin, creamy white thighs, a flat belly and a feline structure. His bones are long and thin, yet he still manages to be short and petite. His trimmed fingernails snake beneath the lace trim of his stocking in an attempt to scratch at the dry skin beneath, but his hand was gently pushed away by one of the costume managers who had been attempting to calm the storm that was the boy's wild and mangy blond hair.  
"I'm sorry love, but you'll soil yourself"! Piped a very feminine blonde with a thick British accent. He was petite, and nearly the same size as Tweek, adorning a shoulder length bob of blonde hair and a very girly like figure. He narrowed his gentle blue eyes and g0offered a tiny smile.  
"There you are doll, I've fixed you nice and clean. The boss says you only have this one appointment tonight and you can go home".  
"The old perv must be someone rich or important then". Scoffed Tweek rolling his eyes and sneaking a scratch at the forbidden skin beneath his stocking. The stylist, pretending not to witness the rule breaking began packing his makeups, creams and brushes into his traveling case before turning to the blonde boy in front of him.  
"You really are a lovely doll Tweek"...  
"Thank you Pip".  
"Anytime love, I must be getting back to Damien though". Pip pressed a quick kiss to his friend's cheek before rushing out of the door with unnecessary speed. Tweek sighed, stood from the chair and walked to stand before a full length mirror. He was dressed in miniature navy blue shorts with black suspenders, thigh length stockings with a lace trim, black gentle heeled boots with brass buckles, and a starch white dress shirt buttoned to his throat. Pip had done an outstanding job with his makeup, his pouty lips were enhanced with a nude pink lipstick, his brows tweezed, concealer to disguise flaws, blush to heighten his cheek bones, and a gentle swipe of brown eyeliner and mascara on his lower waterline to make his eyes appear wide and innocent as well as compliment the green. His gnarly hair was combed and silky in his curious fingertips. Pip had combed it so it would fall around his face in a blonde curtain, rather then defy gravity and frame his hallow face. As Pip had said, he was a lovely doll, but no amount of makeup can cover all the chips in the china.  
As Tweek had predicted, his important customer had been an elderly pervert, while he was wealthy, like most men who came into the White Swallow Bathhouse, he made Tweek's skin crawl. As the man ran his old gnarled hand along Tweek's skin and remarked on how silky and soft the boy was, Tweek fought back a series of violent tremors of pure disgust. When the man began pealing down Tweek's lacy hose, he felt bile crawling up his throat. The little choking sound Tweek made, his customer thought was pleasure from his touch. The man then found it necessary to be extra rough with his 'plaything' but that's all that Tweek was, a different John's fantasy, a still, emotionless doll.  
It was ten forty at night when Tweek Tweak was back in his regular clothing. His face scrubbed with makeup, and his hair tousled and growing more explosive by the second, he was happy to be off work so early at night. He was just closing the door to his locker in the back hall when he heard a very nasally voice begin belting out swears at the top of his lungs. Tweek's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he rounded the hallway's single corner to witness a shirtless man apparently burst from his reserved room, sweating like a sinner in church. 'Heh, probably new to the whole I'm turned on to the thought of guys sucking my dick'. Thought Tweek in a tone of superiority as he fully rounded the corner, as he walked past he noticed this man was toned, tall and had great back muscles. Deciding to be ballsy, Tweek shifted his gym bag containing all his belongings to his left shoulder, and using his right hand, copped a feel of his very firm ass cheek. The silence was deafening as the potty mouth's head slowly turned around. His steel blue eyes blazing beneath a thick layer of black hair. They stared into each other's eyes for s few moments before the man spst  
"What the fuck are you doing"?!  
"Copping a feel? What else? I mean it is a gay man's bath house Craig, be smart about it". Tweek's tone was almost snotty. That is until he realized he just called this stranger Craig and felt him up.  
The humiliation almost knocked him dead on the spot. That and the fact this man was suddenly backing him up into a wall, his face getting nose to nose with Tweek's as those partially slanted eyes narrowed.  
"How and the fuck did you know my name is Craig"? Tweek's expression shifted to that of disbelief. Either it was coincidence, or Craig's brain had gone to shit. He decided, feeling once more like he owned a pair of steel balls, to choose the latter.  
"It's me you dumb fuck, Tweek Tweak? Your Ex-boyfriend"?  
"Tweek"?! God Craig had gotten stupid.  
"Yes Craig, it's me Tweek". And all of a sudden there were arms around him, pulling him into a bear hug, lifting him from the ground. Tweek began snarling and snapping the phrase "Sweet Jesus Craig! Put me fucking down"! Until Craig clumsily dropped him to the floor. Running a hand through his matted hair, Tweek attempted to regain composure.  
"So are you meeting someone here"? Craig asked, his voice suddenly back to it's dull monotonous nasally pitch. Tweek rested his hands on his miniature waist and shook his shoulder that was supporting his bag.  
"I work here".  
"As a waitress"?  
"No, as a prostitute".  
Kenny McCormick passed around his shared apartment at four in the morning, worried sick. The outdated blue flip phone on his hand hadn't lit up in hours, Tweek should've been home from work by now. Kenny considered calling the police, but he remembered that A. Tweek was mentally unstable and B. Tweek was a prostitute, and that was illegal. Ten minutes more passed before an urgent banging on the door alerted Kennny, and he sprang from his recent seated position to the front door, undoing the deadbolt and turning the lock. The door flew open, displaying Tweek with a homeless man leaning unconsciously against him.  
"Look who I found! Craig Tucker. Kenny can we keep him? Please"?  
"Fuck no" and Kenny slammed the door, and dead bolted the lock. Satisfied with his action, he spun on his heel and sauntered off to his bedroom where he would pull a porno from the night drawer, beat his meat, and maybe, MAYBE if he remembered, let Tweek and that thing called Craig Tucker in his apartment. Maybe.


	3. Chapter 3

In all honesty, Craig didn't intend to come to the bath house, not by a long shot. Honestly he thought that Clyde and Token had been praying on his past sexual interests and found it funny to prank Craig by informing him they were going to a gay bath house for a bachelor party, but would probably end up going to Shakey's or something. That is until they were on the outskirts of Denver when Craig realized Token and Clyde had been serious. His protests were not recognized until Token's BMW was parked in the lot.  
"Okay Craig, quit your bitching and listen to me. You can pretend you're happy, peachy keen with Nora, but I can see it, hell even Clyde can see it and that's saying something. We brought you here so you can realize you're gay as a three dollar bill. After tonight if you're really truly bent on being straight, I'll be your best man at your wedding no problem, but just go in there and have one last hurrah. If you're gay or straight, I just want you to be happy cause you're my best friend after all". Clyde nodded furiously and it was  
So that's how he ended up in the White Swallow, in a maroon bedroom, as his face contorted with disgust as his sneakers stuck slightly to the floor. Suddenly the door had opened and a toned Hispanic man waltzed in. It took all of five minutes before Craig said fuck this, gave the guy ten bucks for the effort and left the room. He was minding his own business before some guy decided to get ballsy and feel him up. He wouldn't deny the warm hand cupping his buttox gave him a steady ripple of goose flesh, but the fingers were so long and probing against him he felt sort of violated. So he put on his angry eyes and turned himself to glare menacingly at the little douche who had decided to grasp him so.  
His eyes were met with a shock of damp yellow hair and an incredibly petite boy with milky pale skin. Craig scanned the guy's face, owlish pale green eyes, flushed cheeks and pale pink lips. His blonde brows were furrowed with skepticism and his hand hung suspended in the air.  
"What the fuck are you doing"?!  
"Copping a feel? What else? I mean it is a gay man's bath house Craig, be smart about it". The blonde bombshell had called him Craig. How had he known his name?! Craig searched his face, a straight nose that's slight indent reminded him of a bunny slope. It looked at him, but it couldn't be. Tweek Tweak was dead, he had committed suicide years ago.  
"How and the fuck did you know my name is Craig"? Tweek's look alike frowned and made some sort of exasperated noise.  
"It's me you dumb fuck, Tweek Tweak? Your Ex-boyfriend"?  
"Tweek"?!  
"Yes Craig, it's me Tweek". In that moment Craig had never felt as much joy. His long arms snaked around Tweek's tiny frame and with one enormous gesture he gathered he scrawny mess into is arms and began flinging him about in glee. Tweek wasn't dead, he hadn't committed suicide. He was right here in Craig's arms yelling to be put down. Gently he dropped Tweek to the floor who landed with a dramatic ooof. The blonde ran a hand through his damp locks, glowering before Craig regained his composure.  
" So are you meeting someone here"? He had to calm down.  
"I work here".  
"As a waitress"?  
"No, as a prostitute". In that moment, Craig's joy turned sour. Tweek for what ever reason had been reduced to selling his body?! What for?! Allegedly he had died six years ago when Craig had been nineteen. Now he was here, whoring himself?!  
"You look like you've got a lot of questions, come on Craig, my shifts over". That bony hand gripped his blue jacket and began dragging him back through the lobby. Tweek grunted what Craig thought as goodbyes to to coworkers and lumbered to the staff parking lot where the muttering blonde unlocked a yellow 2004 Honda civic. Craig stood outside of the car, staring curiously.  
"Get in". Tweek said from the drivers side, and afraid circled the vehicle stepping inside. Tweek was silent for the nine minutes it took to pull into Craig's favorite restaurant IHOP.  
"Is this still your favorite place to eat"? Tweek wondered before killing the engine. Craig nodded quickly, his dark hair sweeping quickly against his forehead. Tweek exited the car, Craig in a mute pursuit. He noticed Tweek pressed the lock button four times before they entered. The hostess seated them in a back booth, and it was only when Tweek held a cup of piping hot cup of coffee before Tweek cleared his throat.  
"So why are you a whore "? Craig wondered bluntly. Tweek's lively green eyes darkened.  
"You know how Tweak Bros. burned down"? Craig nodded. "Well after the business went out, my parents sold me into slavery. I used to think they were joking, but my dad was serious. I've been working at the bath house ever since we broke up. My parents pretended I committed suicide so no questions would be asked. The only ones who know I'm alive are Kenny, Damien, and Pip and they've all sworn to secrecy, so you have to as well Craig".


	4. Chapter 4

Tweek began to shift nervously at the uncomfortable silence that had been drawn between he and Craig. Aside for the murmured thank you they said when their waiter had set down their plates of butter milk waffles, neither of them had said a word. Tweek, in an effort to at least get some form of response from Craig began noisily slurping his coffee.  
"So you've been here for six years"? Asked a Craig monotonously.  
"Yeah".  
"And it hasn't dawned on you to maybe alert the authorities"? Tweek perhaps hated this question the most.  
"I-I-I... Like my job". He near whispered back. Craig's eyes widened, his fork falling from his grasp clattering noisily to his plate. His thick brows knitted to fit his enraged expression before he reached into his back pocket, tore out a fist full of singles and threw them to the table. In one great motion Craig stood from his seat and charged for the door. Tweek, who was MUCH shorter then Craig sprung from his seat, knocking cups and plates and spoons to the floor before bounding after Craig. It took two Tweek steps to amount to one Craig step, so he sprinted with his awkward limbs flailing after the retreating Peruvian boy.  
Craig had forgotten he had ridden in Tweek's car as well as left his mobile inside the passenger cup holder. He could hear Tweek's panicky breathing ten feet behind him, and so he waited till the sunshine yellow mess reached him, doubled over with his hands on his knees gasping for breath. Craig tried hard to not think of this is what Tweek probably does every night.  
"J-J-Jesus Craig"!  
"I don't wanna hear it. Drive me to the nearest bar and drop me off. I never want to see your little whore face ever again. As far as I'm concerned, you are dead to me". Ouch. That one even hurt Craig. Tweek, who was now standing upright looked at him, his beautiful green eyes glittered as tears pricked softly at the delicate orbs. He lifted his arm and dragged it across his face to wipe away the freshly fallen salt tracks before he unlocked the car allowing he and Craig inside.  
Tweek had complied, and now Craig was throwing back shots like they were going out of style. The burning felt good on his tight throat, and his lips felt like poisonous kisses. He had long since stopped crying. Why the fuck should he care if Tweek was a slut or not? For Christ's sake he was getting married in four days!  
Another two shots of whiskey later, Craig Tucker wasn't feeling much of anything anymore. He was grinning shit faced as a cute little blonde dame was watching him with wide eyes, leading him to her car, or struggling to. She was maybe five two at most, and Craig's six four build was nearly squashing the little thing. She dumped him into her car, her pretty lemon yellow hair tickled his lips as she fastened his seat belt. It smelt like coffee and head and shoulders. It was an awkward but appealing scent and Craig continued to smile dumbly as she shut his door and put herself in the drivers seat.  
He was hearing voices, they were both male, one slightly higher then the other. They seemed to be bickering a bit, and he swore he heard his name, the word love, and marriage. But he was to dazed to even attempt to stream the words together. After a while the voices silenced and something came to join him on whatever piece of furniture he was laying on. His slender white hands came to cup Craig's cheek, and began softly stroking his mat of black hair.  
"I like my job... Because when I close my eyes I pretend it's you". And the gentle caresses ceased, and the warmth beside him retreated into some back hallway. Craig let out a grunt before plastering his eyes shut to fall into some sort of drunken sleep.  
Nora had called Craig eleven times before getting a response the next day at four thirty in the afternoon. She had just begun keying in the final digit before her phone began to shrilly sing an old 'Faith +1' song and she instantly accepted the call.  
"Hello"?!  
"Nora"? He sounded hung over. "I got your calls. I ran into my old buddy Kenny while I was out last night... We had a few drinks and I got a little to hammered. I'll be home around six. Love you". And Craig hung up. She tapped a perfectly manicured nail against her chin as she thought of why the name McCormick sounded familiar. Didn't Craig say something about a little girl... Karen McCormick being pregnant? That did not sit well with the future Mrs. Tucker. Her husband would not associate himself with white trash. She marched upstairs to her closet, pulling out old clothes and setting them into a laundry basket before returning to the foyer to shoulder her coat. Damn Colorado was cold... She was thankful Craig had left their impala and had gotten a ride with Token, or else she would've had to walk, and her delicate feet were not meant for such things.  
It took only ten minutes to find the McCormick house, on the wrong side of the tracks of course. Her nose crinkled as she stepped outside of the car and retrieved the basket heaping with clothes. She made a mental note to not let her pristine white cost touch anything that may soil it, and her knuckles rapped against the dirty wooden door. A woman, in her late forties answered. Nora could see that this woman was once very beautiful, but poverty had stolen that away.  
"Yes"? She wondered, Nora put on her best fake smile and cleared her throat.  
"Hi, I'm Nora, Craig Tucker's fiancé? His sister Ruby told me all about poor Karla".  
"Karen"?  
"Yes whatever. May I come in? I brought a few things for her".  
"Um sure, of course. Please don't mind the mess". The woman allowed Nora to pass, and she stepped through the doorway, nearly heaving at the sight of a filthy mess. A young girl in her mid teens was resting on the couch, her stomach had a slight bulge in it.  
"Karen, you have a visitor"..  
Craig had awoken in the later afternoon on a green sofa. His eyes darted nervously before he located Kenny mother fucking McCormick sitting on a leather recliner, Paps blue ribbon in hand watching NASCAR. It was a nightmare from which he could not wake. The blonde's face turned to him, his sneaky blue eyes lighting up with glee and his mouth turning to a grin that was nearly feline.  
"Hello Craigifer"... He murmured and Craig felt his stomach drop.


	5. Chapter 5

Karen McCormick pulled her legs beneath her and stared at the woman who was seated beside her. She wasn't very pretty, but she wasn't ugly. She was just plain with plain brown hair and plain brown eyes. Karen was envious about the pudge deposited in her belly and thighs. She was clearly not starved or poor. The woman had introduced herself as Nora, Craig's wife to be. Ruby had told Karen all about her, she was rude, egotistical and extremely possessive of Craig. It kind of made sense though, Craig was extremely attractive. Karen had formerly had a crush on Craig when she was ten.  
"Karen sweetie, I've brought you a few new outfits for when your tummy gets bigger. Now how far along are you"?  
"I'm about three months give or take a week". Nora smiled tightly and pushed her hair behind her ear.  
"We'll then I-".  
"Look ma'am I'm eighteen in a few weeks and I have a job down at Shakey's. I appreciate your generosity but I'm not a charity case. Now if you would kindly lift your rump from my cushion, I have to leave soon". The look on Nora's face was priceless as she scoffed and exited the house. Her mom who was standing in the kitchen doorway, crossed the floor of the small living room to stand beside Karen. Her calloused hand wove through Karen's lengthy brown hair and rubbed her hair affectionately.  
"That's my girl... Now hurry and scoot on out of here. Ruby'll be waiting you". Karen nodded and gently swatted her mother's hand from her hair. Standing from the couch Karen pressed a quick kiss against her mother's cheek. It was obvious Mrs. McCormick had once been beautiful, but years of stress, alcohol, drugs and poverty had worn away at at that youthful beauty. Karen waved goodbye to her mother and exited the household and was on her way to her best friend's house.  
Kenny McCormick had attempted to kiss Tweak goodbye but the frail jiggering mess had easily dodged Kenny's attempt and looked on at Craig passed out on the couch.  
"I've gotta go to work. I'll be home at my usual time. Look after him for me please". And Tweak ducked out of the house through the door. Kenny tilted his head back and examined the ceiling as Craig groaned in his sleep. He stepped to the small fridge and removed a can of blue ribbon and collapsed into his worn recliner, pressing the power button and channel code on the television as it flickered to life and displayed NASCAR. He began to settle back into relaxation before Craig suddenly sat up and wondered aloud where he was. Kenny turned to stare blankly at him.  
"Hello Craigifer".  
"Kenny?! Where's Tweak? Where am I"? Craig was in panic. He was laying in a strange apartment with Kenny how he loathed Kenny McCormick.  
"Relax Tucker, you're at the apartment Tweak and I share. You got hammered last night and Tweak didn't want you stumbling around a city you don't know. So he brought you here and you crashed on our couch". Kenny's explanation began streaming together a series of hazy memories of the previous night's events. He remembered meeting up with Tweak, IHOP, and an argument... But the alleged drunkenness was wiped from his mind.  
"And where is Tweak now"?  
"Work. It's around three thirty in the afternoon. Also your cellphone has been ringing off the hook". Craig withdrew his blue mobile from his pocket and saw the missed call banner. It was a ridiculously high amount all from Nora.  
"Can I use your bathroom"?  
"In the hall, second door to the left". Craig rose from the couch and shook off the blanket and followed Kenny's directions. Pulling open the door and entering, Craig's eyebrows rose in confusion. He was in a bedroom. It smelled like coffee grounds. The walls were a light caramel color and were mostly barren aside from a few photos of a grinning blonde and a moody boy with ebony hair.  
"Huh... I didn't know Tweak watched Naruto"... He said while examining the image of Naruto and Sasuke. Craig sighed and sat back on the mint green comforter. He called Nora, and briefly explained what had happened and that he'd be home around six-ish. He hung up before she could bitch at him. Craig surveyed Tweak's bedroom, there were two small mahogany doors. He assumed one a bathroom and the other a closet. On a small vanity was a a few jars of facial creams and other makeup tubes. Tweak was at work... Craig had to leave... He pulled himself to his feet and using one of Tweak's lipsticks drew his cellphone number on the mirror. Hopefully he would call...  
Tweak trudged into his bedroom at twelve thirty in the morning and shed his clothing. His eyes felt like weights and he weighted a shower or sleep. His pretty green eyes widened at the red digits smeared across his mirror in passion fruit lipstick. A cell phone number... Craig's cell phone number to be exact. He fell back naked on his bed, a sigh escaping his lips. Craig was in his room... And he left his number for him...


	6. Chapter 6

Tweek Tweak sat on the stool in front of his worn piano and cracker his nimble fingers. His eyes stared with a foreign intensity at the black and white piano keys before his bony digits began probing the worn keys to play the first few measures of 'Defying Gravity'. Long ago his parents discovered his intense shivers would cease if he was able to pound his troubles into vibrant and lively pieces of music. So here he sat, in the miniature office space he had pleaded with Kenny to allow him to take over as his music room, or music closet to be more correct. He was just idly playing the piano, but as he worked his way to the chorus, he found himself singing loudly that he was defying gravity, and no one would bring him down...  
As his fingers tapped the final note, a sigh escaped his lips before his entire body went rigid with fear at the sound of applause from behind. He slowly turned his neck, craning to see whom had literally darkened his doorway, that overhanging lightbulb could only do so much for his poor vision...  
Kenny McCormick had returned from his latest sexual endeavor to the apartment he and Tweek shared. As he slid off his beat tennis shoes not only did he notice the gaping hole in his sock where his big toe was obnoxiously sticking through, but the attractive and haunting melody of Tweek and his piano from the 'Home Office' down the hall. He tiptoed quietly down the hall to the room where the singing was echoing from. Thankfully Tweek had left the door open, so Kenny could silently loiter in the doorway without being noticed. As Tweek sang the final note, Kenny was impressed with Tweek's vocal range. Not many grown men could hit such high notes. Yes Kenny had seen 'Wicked' and damn it he was proud. He awarded Tweek with an extremely long slow clap before Tweek whirled around, his cute face an attractive shade of red.  
"K-Kenny, J-Jesus you scared the hell out of me"! Tweek barked, his hand fumbling around nervously across the keys playing random shrill notes as well as miscellaneous dark, unsettling tones. Kenny grinned and stepped into the confined space, setting his big hand in Tweek's mess of sunshine gold and ruffling it affectionately.  
"Seeing Craig really rattled you, didn't it"? Despite having Kenny's hand in his hair, Tweek nodded.  
"I wish I could go back to South Park... Almost every day of my life". Kenny's eyes saddened and his expression became sullen. Kenny brushed a strand of golden hair aside from Tweek's forehead before pressing his lips to the barren flesh. When he pulled away he stared deeply into Tweek's glittery light eyes before sighing.  
"I know how much you miss that redneck town... But you only have to stay here for a few more years before you can buy your freedom. You haven't touched the savings jar, have you"? Tweek gently shook his head before Kenny grinned.  
"Then we can go wherever we want, we can see the world". Tweek grinned dreamily, lost in his own fantasies of a life where he laid on the beach, drinking coffee and hearing the ocean as Craig mumbled bitterly that Tweek had neglected to massage sunscreen onto his back...  
Meanwhile Craig Tucker was staring at his phone sighing and pulling at his tie. Everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. He thought it was ridicules the way Clyde was throwing a bitch fit that Craig was insistent upon wearing his chullo hat. He was getting married. Big fucking whoop...  
"But Craaaaaiiiiiig, you can't wear your hat! It'll ruin your pictures"...Craig rolled his eyes and groaned.  
"Fine, if I take the hat off will you knock it off with your bitching? Jesus Christ I can barely think".. Clyde beamed, and Craig snatched his hat, his trademark from his head and tossed it to the floor. Clyde being a mother licked his palms and then smoothed down Craig's ebony hair.  
"Good, now lets go pal. It's time for your wedding"...  
Nora Eastman soon to be Tucker admired herself in the mirror one final time. She grinned, and inspected herself for any final flaws. Her long white strapless dress hugged her womanly figure, her long hair was curled to shear perfection and her makeup was flawless. Nodding determinedly at her reflection she pulled the veil over her face and followed her bridesmaid outside of the dressing room. Here came the bride...  
Ruby Tucker sat with her fair hair piled into a curled bun on top of her pretty little head. Her teal dress exposed her pale and freckled shoulders as she looked from her best friend Karen to the doors where Nora was supposed to make her grand entrance. She rolled her eyes after five minutes of sheer awkwardness the doors opened and so began the bridal march. The bridesmaids of course were outfitted in some atrocious shade of plum before the queen bee finally revealed herself. Ruby arched a perfect brow at Nora's appearance. Bebe had done an amazing job on Nora. She actually looked beautiful, even Craig was a little surprised and that was saying something...  
The new Mrs. And Mr. Tucker were holding hands on a beach, and Craig found it painfully cliche. It was sunset and the Hawaiian air carried the scent of fruits and warmth. Their footsteps were disappearing as the gentle waves rolled in against their ankles. A light early evening breeze ruffled their hair as Nora sighed and pushed a long strand behind her ear.  
"Craig, darling"? She stopped walking, which meant Craig stopped walking.  
"Yeah"? He responded monotonously. She stared at him with wide brown eyes that were slowly becoming watery.  
"Tonight, I want to give myself to you... Body and soul"..  
"What"? Nora looked like she was about to burst into tears.  
"Tonight I want us to loose our virginities to each other".  
"Oh. Okay". Shit, Craig wasn't a virgin.


	7. Chapter 7

Nora rested her head on Craig's chest, her body felt deliciously soar and warm and curled even further into his naked body. Craig had his arms behind his head and was staring at the ceiling, his eyes tracing the intricate designs on the panels. He wished he could smoke, Nora never allowed Craig to smoke in the house or in this case, hotel room.

"Darling?"

"Hmm?"

"What we just did... That was wonderful... These past few days have been nothing but bliss for me... Thank you, Craig."

"You're welcome." Nora sat up, turning to face her new husband. Her long hair was mussed prettily and her eyes glittered with pure adoration and what appeared to be tears. Craig's eyebrow rose slightly in question.

"Nora, are you crying?" Nora sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"Yeah... Just a little bit.. I'm just so happy Craig. I'm the happiest woman alive. I love you so much." Craig sat up on his elbows, leaning on his right arm and pushing aside his muss of black hair.

"Nora, you need to take a breath... I mean I dunno.." Nora sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear. All trace of prettiness vanished and she looked suddenly looked plain as usual.

"Craig, would it kill you to maybe express some emotion for once?" Craig rolled his eyes and rested his forehead on her soft shoulder. Tweek was never this whiny about commitment...

"I'm sorry honey... I love you too". His voice was so plain, so dull, that Nora heard it as genuine. Her hand rose and gently massaged his scalp. Craig sighed in relief and leaned backwards into his pillow, Nora followed and the young couple spooned. He could smell the cherry shampoo on her locks, but it was no comparison to the haunting scent of coffee beans and vanilla extract that lingered in his nostrils and his past youth...

It was about four and a half months after the wedding, and Craig was watching Nora gently pat her growing stomach. Shortly after their honeymoon she had announced that she was with child and ever since then, good Lord Nora wouldn't shut up. Craig hadn't seen or spoken to Tweek for almost half a year... Until there was a ring at his doorbell. Rising from his place on the sofa he strode quickly to the front door and opened it.

Craig was unable to breathe as the fairy like blonde with a wild nest of blonde hair looked up at him with curious forest green eyes.

"Hey Craig, sorry to drop in unannounced... But I kinda just managed to buy my freedom... And I need a place to stay." Craig, nodding with a firm jaw opened the door wide enough for the blonde to slip through. Craig was just about to shut the door and lock it before yet ANOTHER body slipped through.

"Hello lover"! Said Kenny as his forever skinny arms wrapped tightly around Craig's arms and waist pulling him into a bone crushing embrace. The socially awkward Tucker went as rigid as ply wood for not only was physical contact a huge hurdle for him, but Kenny was nearly as tall as Craig and twice as skinny. His scraggly blonde hair tickled at Craig's nostrils. Not soon enough, Craig was released from McCormick's anaconda grip, he scurried over to the trembling green eyed boy and wrapped his arm around his quivering shoulder.

"Craig, who is it?" Nora's voice echoed through the hallway before she turned the corner. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion at the two blondes in the front hall. Her hands folded protectively over her stomach.

"Darling, who are these people"?

"Nora, this is Kenny McCormick, he's Karen McCormick's elder brother, and this is-" Craig paused for a moment. Nora was aware at what had supposedly happened to Tweek, so he quickly had to think up a name. "-this is Elijah. Kenny is visiting from college and he brought his room mate along."

"Oh how nice... So I take it they're staying with us?" Craig nodded. "In that case I'll go set a few more areas for dinner then." She then excused herself from the hall and back into the dining room. Craig turned his attention to Kenny and Tweek.

"I-is that your girlfriend?" Tweek wondered after an awkward pause.

"That was Nora... My pregnant wife..."


	8. Chapter 8

"I don't know... Maybe we shouldn't have come here. Craig is obviously preoccupied..." Mumbled Tweek as he rested his suitcase on the Tucker guest bed. Kenny, who was slouching in a rocking chair stifled a snort.

"Are you kidding Tweekers? Nora is totally Craig's beard. He's still as gay as ever. Did you see the look on his eyes when he saw you?"

"Of course I did! It was an expression of sheer terror that his former prostitute fuck buddy had suddenly dropped in for a visit!"

"You're just imagining things. But jeez, she's already knocked up.." Kenny's eyes were scanning the guest bedroom that was in the process of being converted into a nursery. The walls were a light mint green and in the process of having a giraffe hand painted onto them.

"I can tell Craig painted that... When we were together he was always painting my portrait. He never let me see them though... Said my eye color was never right... But that's definitely Craig's handiwork. The brush strokes are all his." There was a sense of nostalgia in the bedroom, the two reflecting on days gone by before the door swung open. Tweek jumped a few feet in the air, as Craig stuck his head through the doorway.

"Come on, dinner is ready. Nora is so looking forward to meeting 'Elijah'." Craig's voice was oozing sarcasm and a tiny grin settled on his lips. Kenny, lifting himself from his seat, stretched, and paraded downstairs.

"Come on Tweek, I've already got a pot brewing for you." Tweek smiled, a lovely pink frosting his snowy cheeks and he slipped past Craig to meet Kenny downstairs.

Nora had prepared a regular old Tuesday night meatloaf with a fresh salad on the side. She, Craig, and Kenny had begun wolfing down the meal, while Tweek pushed the meat around his plate. The leafy greens had long since vanished, and the coffee slurped from the ceramic bottom within minutes.

"Is there something wrong with the meal Elijah?" Nora asked, her tone was clipped and offended.

"Not at all.., it's just... I'm a vegetarian."

"Oh well then... Would you like another helping of greens then?"

"Er um... No thank you. I was going to take a walk around town anyways."

"But you've never been to South Park. What if you lose your way?" Craig pushed his plate away and dabbed his mouth with a napkin.

"I've finished eating. I'll go with him. Besides, I need to stop at the store and pick up a few things." Craig rose from his seat and headed to the foyer, Tweek shuffled behind in pursuit

"We won't be gone long Nora."

"Alright love, you and Elijah be careful. Kenny'll keep me company while you're away." Craig rolled his eyes and the two exited the household.

Craig and Tweek walked side by side down the dark side walks of South Park. Tweek's yellow green eyes scanned every nook and cranny of each building and street corner.

"Been a long time huh?" Craig wondered as he lit up a smoke.

"A very long time... But nothing's changed. It's still the same redneck town I grew up in. I've just got a different perspective so to say..." Craig chuckled darkly and inhaled a steady stream of smoke.

"So you're free now eh?"

"Yeah, after years of misery... I finally came into some money." Enough was said on how Tweek had actually gotten said money, Craig assumed it was a wealthy client and left it at that.

"So where are you going to go now?" Tweek's mouth tightened into a thin line and his shoulders sagged.

"I'm not sure... I can't pay my share of the rent barely had enough quarters scraped together to get here. I could maybe crash with my parents... But I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that. But beggars can't be choosers."

"Stay with me."

"What."

"Live with me, till you're back on your feet."

"But Nora and the baby-" Tweek was suddenly pushed against the wall of a building. Craig's enormous body pressed tightly against him, his arms on either side of Tweek's face, holding him captive.

"Forget Nora... Please, stay with me..." Craig's breathing was ragged and his eyes were a storm of intense emotions that had been bottled up for years.

"Yes... Craig... I'll stay with you... If you kiss me." Craig immediately smashed his lips against Tweek's. the feeling was like being trapped under water, and finally emerging to the surface to be able breathe again. Craig bit against Tweek's lips, begging for Tweek's mouth to tumble open. Tweek obliged and their tongues meshed together and began tasting each other. It had been years since Craig had felt such a fire within his being. And he was determined to devour the blonde, entirely.

"Would you care for a slice of cake Kenny?" Nora asked from the kitchen.

"I would love some, thank you." Nora emerged from the room carrying two plates of warm chocolate cake. She set one helping in front of Kenny and settled herself beside him. Kenny noticed that not only was she very close to him, but she had sprayed herself with expensive perfume while she was out of his sight.

"So Kenny, Craig said you were in college. What are you studying?"

"Craig was misinformed, I'm actually in the police academy. He must have gotten Elijah and I mixed up. We haven't seen each other in years and only IM'ed online so it was a simple mistake."

"How interesting! So you're going into the police force. How brave of you." Kenny smiled and took another bite of the rich cake.

"So do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" Nora smiled fondly and touched her stomach.

"Mother's intuition is that my baby is a girl... Craig wants to name her Red Racer though." Kenny laughed loudly.

"That sounds like Craig alright. God when we were kids he and Tweek were supposed to fight and he blew it off for that show. Damn he can recite that show forward and backwards."

"Tweek? Who's Tweek? That name sounds really familiar..." Kenny paled instantly. He had just let that name slip... At that moment Craig and Tweek decided to grace the two with their presence, flushed and swollen lipped.

"Tweek Tweak... The boy who everyone thought died in a fire at that wore down coffee house... Is standing right in my dining room."


End file.
